I have struggled to comprehend something since I was a child. With age, my bafflement around this has not faded. I remain aghast and appalled. I see it as the height of disrespect for another human being. I always wonder how people who do it make it okay. Because they never seem to feel bad. Don’t lose any sleep. Never apologise. So they have found ways in their minds to justify the behaviour so that they do not lose any sleep over it and in fact I think they can turn it into your fault, especially if you confront them.
That matter of struggle is a person that answers positively (RSVPs) to a direct invitation then just doesn’t bother to pitch. Doesn’t apologise. Just doesn’t give a damn. Whether in a business or personal context. You show respect for their RSVP by allocating time, space, cost, resources etc and they just don’t pitch. Life happens. Not everything works out always according to plan. That is understandable. Thus when something affects your ability to turn up at a place where you have RSVPd, have the humanity, respect and decency to send an apology before the event, not after, unless you are dead or incapacitated. If you can’t or don’t feel like it suddenly, set aside that insensitivity to someone anyway, please inform the host so that they can offer the place to someone else or at least make a plan to not set up a place for you. Sometimes it may be too late to make alternative arrangements or the function is just for specific people /friends /family. But give them the opportunity to know timeously to work out something or to just remove your allocated space. Many of these occasions have financial implications. To not pitch, leaves someone holding the cost because every business is also protecting itself by having a cut off date for changes. So if you leave it too late for your host to make alternative plans or just don’t pitch, you inspire many unpleasant feelings because you have just cost them more than just your none show. And if you are turning your nose up because the function you meant to attend is sponsored, that is still money allocated that would have been used elsewhere. And sponsors don’t always cover all costs. You are just disrespectful whichever way you spin it!
So let’s just stop the lack of manners, rudeness and disrespect. No one is holding a gun to your head to say yes to an invitation if you do not wish to be there. Don’t make it about yourself. You are not always that important until you don’t pitch. Then it is the cost of you that becomes an issue not you necessarily. Be considerate. Because if you did pitch and the host has not allocated space or not catered for you, how would you feel? If you want people to trust you, be trustworthy. Then we wonder why airlines over book even after payment has been received? No shows happen. How worse is it when people don’t have money on the line? Let’s respect each other. So over this Rudeness. Not justified at all!!!!