Compassion starts with ourselves. Seeing ourselves. Blemishes and all. And accepting ourselves. Not to say you should not be a better human being. Understanding what has and is making us who we are. How we can be in the same household. Same community. Same world. And experience it all so differently. Respond to it so uniquely. What is that in humanity that makes us each of us so distinctive?
When you understand yourself better. How your character and personality have become what they are. Maybe you will have a little room for compassion for others, especially our parents. What forces and experiences made them who they are. Because for sure, as harshly you judge them, so will your children do the same to you.
Judgement carries a lot of pain. And when you look closely at times, the irony is how similar you seem to be to the recipient of your wrath and criticism. To the observer you certainly are. Sometimes the anger blinds us to the mirror image that our parents are to us. We sometimes believe we are successful in becoming who we sometimes wish they were. But alas, in rejecting who they are, we become exactly what we promised ourselves we will never be. Because it caused you hurt, pain, shame, anger, disappointment. It is said, “What you focus on expands”. So the more you crucify your parent(s), the more those aspects you dislike show up in you.
Surrender! They are on their journey. No matter how deficient it may seem in your eyes. So are you on yours. Focus on your journey that is not constructed in retaliation to who they are. Listen to your inner world. The wisdom is in us already. Regardless of our circumstances. We just need the discipline to stay connected and aligned with our inner core despite and inspite the noises of the world. When we do that, we are most likely to see our parents differently. To be compassionate. Remember, they were children too? What did that little girl. That little boy. Experience in life to become who they are?
It is so much easier to be forgiving, tolerant, kind, compassionate and loving towards a child than an adult, isn’t? But we all start this life journey as children, for now. Let’s not get into scientific and technological possibilities of the future.
Be kind. Compassionate towards your parents. Forgive even if you can never forget. Surrender.